The feelings of lost..

There's a time when one feel lost. Feeling that there's no longer a reason for you to be what you've been doing. Feeling that whatever you're doing right now it's all a mistake.

Right now.. I'm feeling both ways. I don't know whether I'm doing it because I want it just because it's the way out. The pain that I thought I've lose it comes back every now and then making me feel sorry for my own loss. No, I don't want to feel this way.. I don't want to be sorry for myself. I want strength to continue moving on..

I guess it just boils down to not getting what I want. I hate it whenever I open my mouth to ask, the only feedback I get is like well.. It's not gonna happen or rather no one bother.. Whyyyy is it I have to do it all by myself? Why is there isn't a mince of hope that I eventually will get it. It just makes me lose it..

Life been great exclude this really crap emotions and thoughts I have sometimes. I'm doing great.. Living life like never before.. Or rather.. Living the life I never thought I would at this stage of my life. I mean.. I'm slow in this.. There's others who ate at my age already supporting themselves and able to venture to other fields. I'm just at the baby stage..

Anyways... Think I just thrashed crap here. Feeling crappy and alittle stress over the coming paper I'm gonna take. Whatever it is.. Just gonna give it my best shot.

Let's look forward to the future, enjoy the present and forget the bad memories from the past
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